House Arrest
by Tobikookie
Summary: ... No one ever sees the capital of china, well, now we may know why it's like he's under house arrest. Rated 'T' for mention of drugs.
1. How to Cook a Pot

**Hello! It's me, this is my crack fanfic made for my pure enjoyment. Major OC warning, I went and made china's polluted, Opium smoking capital! XD**

**kitlinausa helped me design Beijing, and she is creator of a character to appear later in the story, Alaska. **

**this is a CRACK FIC NO PLOT LINE AT ALL!  
**

**So, if you want something totally random to happen, or have YOUR oc apear in the story, contact me through a pm or Review~!  
**

**Without further ado, I present BEIJING!  
**

* * *

A small, frail figure stalked across the carpets of the elegantly decorated home. His bare feet sinking slightly into the soft flooring. It was early, magically, he had made it up before China-sempai. Well, it was a requirement for today, it was Mother's day. And he thought he would do something nice for his 'mother'

And naturally, that meant cooking the older Chinese man breakfast, how hard it could be, he WAS part of China, so cooking would be easy!

It took Beijing about five long minutes to find a pot, and then he filled it to the brim with water and started to carry it back over to the stove. Water sloshes around his feet as he padded across the floor and set the pot onto the stove, and set it on high.

The boy stood back and watched the flame for a bit, before an itching in his throat made him turn his head away and hacked for a few moments. Before turning back to watch the water lazily bubble at the surface. It was intriguing for awhile, but then it got boring.

Beijing pattered away from the stove, it would be fine on it's own! China-sempai did this all the time! He threw water in a pot, put it on fire then BOOM! Magic soup or something. He didn't know how he did it, it just kind of happened. He didn't know.

As he wandered away from the pot he started to feel wheezy and he headed to sit on the couch. He sat on the couch and reached for the large stuffed panda he normally saw China-Sempai with and cuddled it as he waited.

His eyes started to droop, and face pressed into the toy, and his face fell. Suddenly he jolted awake. But it happened again, and again, longer each time, sleep tugging at him, pushing him gently towards slumber. And before he knew it, Beijing was asleep.

* * *

China sighed as he walked out into the sitting room to see his capital asleep on the couch. And hugging his favorite panda toy too! China pulled the blanket over the boy and headed to the kitchen to start some breakfast. But to his surprise, a pot was already on the stove.

And it must have been on the stove a pretty long time too, since there was no water in the pot, and the bottom of the pot had been burned through and now flame was coming through the bottom.

China frowned at the ruined pot. "the boy knows he can't cook, aru" he sighed to himself shoving the scrap metal into a nearby garbage pan the took out a fresh one. He threw some ingredients in and made a proper breakfast.

* * *

Beijing sat up and rubbed a yellowing eye. He carried the panda toy into the kitchen to check on his food, to his surprise the small table was set with a pot of food in the middle of it, China-sempai was pouring drinks and came over.

"Morning Beijing, aru" he greeted, gesturing for the city to sit, and he did so.

"I made you breakfast, did you see?" the small person replied happily taking a sip of his drink.

The older man frowned "Yeah, I saw, aru.

"Did it turn out well, do you like it?" the capital pointed to the food in the pot, not knowing China was the one who made it.

The person opposite of him looked at the food in the pot and sighed _"Yeah… it's wonderful aru"_


	2. Lumpy Milk

Another normally night here, Beijing was high, it took the pain away from his lungs, and chest. You see, he had tried going outside, and tripped off the porch falling face first into a giant mud puddle. Of course, he rolled around in the mud giggling until China-sempai had found him and dragged him inside.

Now, the capital was a facing a bubbly tub of horror! With and older, rather annoyed looking Chinese man looking at him, MAN! This guy had patience! By this time his sleeves were rolled up and he had suds up to his elbows, but Beijing guess the nations motherly nature had him keep him around.

"Beijing, you need to get in the tub, aru! You need a bath!" China told the city as he lay on the ground, kicking.

Beijing however was concerned with other matters, as he tried to avoid the tub of death, he found a scale and clawed at it, dragging it over. "How much my head weight?" he wondered to himself and lay a muddy face onto the scale left it for a moment, then raised his head to see the number.

"Zero" he did so again "Zero" again and again…

"You need to get clean, aru!" ans without warning, suddenly, Beijing was in the tub, clothing and all, he was dripping wet. "Wait… how did I get in here?" he asked the older man who threw the sponge at him and left the room. Said sponge hit Beijing in the face.

"what am I supposed to do with this?" HE called after his master who replied "figure it out for yourself, aru!"

At least the city had enough sense to start stripping out of his now sopping clothing, and threw them in a pile near the wall.

He sat in the tub until all the hello kitty brand bubble soap bubbles were gone, and no bubbles was boring so he got out and dressed in the fresh pajamas and headed back out into the sitting room.

He say China-sempai reading a book and snuggling the bootlegged hello kitty plush.

"You clean, aru?"

"Yes mother, I am squeaky deaky clean!" Beijing shouted pouring himself a glass of milk and frowned "It's lumpy" he commented poking a lump floating in his milk. "Lumpy Lumpy Lumpy" He started to sing song.

"Beijing shut up and drink your milk, aru!" the older man snapped from the other room.

"don't you mean chew it China-sempai~!"Beijing chimed and giggled spinning a few times before dumping the lumpy milk into the sink. Then the boy waltzed into the sitting room and sat next to China.

"What are you doing?" he asked China-sempai, leaning over and plucking the book from his grasp. "What is this?" he scanned the page with droopy eyes , the words made them droop more, he didn't actually read them, PFFFFFFT, like that would lead to anything productive.

China plucked his book back from the intoxicated city "You need to ask before you take things from other's aru, that was very rude"

"It was a book China-sempai! I'm bored! Entertain me!" Beijing giggled, rolling around on the couch.

"That's it, your sleeping this off, aru to your room"

"Aw! Come on old man, your just jealous because I still smoke opium and you had to get over your addiction. The old man wants opium the old man wants opium!" then WHAM! There was momentary pain, then nothing.

* * *

Beijing opened his eyes, and he was in bed, tucked into the arm blanket, constricting him… yeah, he was tied into bed again, meh, He guessed he deserved it.

China-sempai peeked his head in the door. _"I hope you dream of woks tonight, aru"_


End file.
